The Truth About Growing Up

I never understood why adults always wished they could go back in time. To fix mistakes and be a kid once more. Did they get a bad grade on a test? Say something mean? When I was a kid, I longed to grow up. To be an adult and live my own life. To hang out with my friends no matter what. To not have a bed time. Now I long to go back. I long to spend 5 more minutes to play outside. To jump around and be carefree with no worries or stress. And I wish I would’ve taken to heart the advice I was given. Take it slow, don’t rush growing up. Enjoy it while it lasts. When I was a kid I thought I would have more time. I always did. Then I blinked. And when my eyes opened after that split second, I was starting middle school. And it was so hard. Then I blinked again and started high school. Every year feels like a blink. Something I wished someone had told me, was after you get a certain age, your life completely changes. You get a job, a car, start driving. And it’s terrifying. This whole new world that once seemed so small is now huge and scary. You learn that you are a piece of a giant puzzle, but you don’t know where to go and no one tells you either. And another thing, once you hit a certain age, you have to learn to comfort yourself. You soon learn that being an adult is scary. And hard. Now I understand why adults wish they could go back in time. 5 minutes. Just give me 5 minutes. 5 minutes to go back and change what I said. 5 minutes to change what I did. 5 minutes to say “Im sorry”. 5 minutes to say “I love you”. 5 minutes to say “goodbye”. 5 minutes of comfort. 5 minutes to run into their arms and for them to hold me because I am terrified of the future. just 5 more minutes. I don’t know what comes next. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t completely and utterly terrified. But life’s a journey. It’s complex chapters in a big book and a single chapter in a book with 8.1 Billion chapters and counting. Im still learning how to grow up. But I don’t think I’ll ever figure it out completely. But that’s all of us right? So I guess I’ll see you in the next chapter.