Loving blindly

It's been overdue
Forgiving and allowing myself to feel the pain I've felt for years
If I could prevail myself
If I could forgive myself
If I could change me
What's forbidding me?
Why am I so spineless?
With no backbone?
Can't say No and stick by it
Say Jump? How high...!
When will it end?
I repeat the same mistakes
The mistakes which cost me my life
The sorrows which will leave scars
The emptiness in my life
The bitterness in men who've done me no wrong
Why can't bygones shall be Bygones
Memories will never fade
My past will always haunt me
My future will be mysteriously yet I'll live
Life is one big fat joke but take it seriously
There's only one life and live it with no regrets.
No more being a door mat!
Can't pour from an empty cup time to let go!