How not to spice up your marriage

After 40 years of marriage that's really been a chore
I found my hubby wishing for 40 ruddy more
So I thought I'd make an effort to try and spice things up
As I took my false teeth out and I placed them in a cup
So next day I went shopping and bought my self a book
Twas called the karma sutra I thought I'd take a look
A quick trip to the sex shop to buy some other stuff
Somethings from the bargain box I thought should be enough
Back home and with a coffee the pages I did scan
To find a new position for me and my old man
I found one called wheelbarrow and I could see just why
It didn't look too difficult for us to have a try
So I popped into the bedroom to don my sexy gear
A leather Basque with spikes on that went from here to here
I couldn't afford the sexy boots so would have to improvise
A pair of wilfys waders that came up to my thighs
Waddling out the bedroom a whip in my right hand
I hoped my evening fun would go just as I had planned.
I called our wilfy over to get him into place
But I tripped upon his Zimmer and he landed on his face
As I bent to help him I heard an awful split
As the basque that I was wearing released a compressed tit
Hubby was now laughing as I tried a sexy dance
I was sure if I continued that he would wet his pants.
So feeling all deflated and no longer in the mood
I proceeded to the kitchen to go and get some food
Twas then I heard the door go, imagine my surprise
With all the family stood there I couldn't believe my eyes
The kids had all decided a party they would throw
To celebrate our wedding day 40 years ago.
And that is way my family from now will always knock
Cos seeing me in that state has left them deep in shock.