Political Bash Balling

Pledge of Grievance:
I hedge my grievance to the gag of the divided fates of Scamerica; And to the blind public for whom it disbands, done invasion, undergone, divisible, with liability injustice for all.

Watching Congress bicker is like watching a sea urchin trying to hump a fig newton.

Politicians know that we know. They just hope we're too busy paying $18 for $4 worth of roided chicken wings to roid rage about it.

Freedom is a politician raising the white flag, owning its absurdity then crawling back under its dung heap.

Enslavement is a politician with its sleeves rolled up and a jack hammer in its hands looking for another right to pulverize.

Insanity defined: Voters lubing up because they expect to not be dry humped come election day.

Politics is to freedom the screaming discrepancy between a shit burger and Gordon Ramsey’s taste buds.
 
A politician is an agenda with a hammer in its hand chanting, “Let’s unbuild some shit.”

A politician is like a chameleon slathered in honey trying to change underwear on the fly as it stumbles ass backward into a badger barbecue.

Revenge is conspiracy theorists crooning, “I told you so” as Americans try to tackle 18-million illegal aliens bum-rushing its borders.

America is communism with a mint shoved up its ass and mintier farts.

Politics is democracy flicking the light on and off trying to assure itself no one else can see it lying, cheating stealing or napping.

Politics is corruption looking for another loophole to grease.

There are two types of people: Politicians and smart people.

Lunacy is, doing the same thing while expecting a voter to expect a different result.

Politics is greed with semen running down the crack of its ass.

There once was a politician who didn’t bullshit...said every bullshit politician who ever bullshitted a bullshitter.  

Politicians are useful. And by "useful," I mean "worthless."

Democrats and Republicans are two of America's most popular fruit toppings.

Politics is redundancy on repeat.

A Republican is a Democrat too lazy to wipe its own ass.

A Democrat is a Republican unashamed to wallow in its own shit while blaming the stench on other people's noses.