Get right

Soul melting away like ice.
I'm in hell, not paradise.
Dying once will suffice,
But some people die twice.
My depression is a heavy weight.
It knocked me into a frozen state.
Reality looks twisted, not straight.
Been stuck in between worlds as of late.
Why do I feel like both the jailer and the inmate?
Please tell me there are others who can also relate.
It is impossible to make sense of the static,
Because there is a stranger living in my attic.
I've logged just as many hours trapped in my head,
As I have days spent decaying on my bed.
Thousands of tabs are open in my mind like a tablet.
This despair of mine is Shakespearean, call me Hamlet.
Sorrow saturates my sky like warplanes.
Thunderstorms form and down comes the rain.
Droplets fall like missiles from that height.
I brace myself as I scream in fright.
Darkness consumed me in one bite.
I’m struggling to win the fight,
So distressing poems I write.
Sorry, but why is my chest tight?
I feel sea sick, but it is not from the oceans.
It’s from the still motions, bipolar emotions.
Compass is broken, I have no navigation.
Sinking to the bottom, I have no flotation.
Although the tide is turning, I can still sense the waves.
In my head they come crashing, am I too late to save?
Demons invading, I don't know how I should behave.
Hope dwindling, to be liberated is what I crave.
These dead eyes of mine are living proof of my inner war.
There's an incurable damage etched deep inside my core.
Not sure who I am nor do I know what to stand for.
I'm at the part where even existing feels like a chore.
The lockdowns are to blame for this damnation.
That was when mental earthquakes rocked my foundation.
When trains of thoughts overwhelmed the train station.
I suddenly stopped processing information.
Three years later and still no realization.
Normality has yet to return, there is no end to this long night.
But let it be known that I'm resisting this sickness with all my might.
I'll either come out on top, or go down honorably like a knight.
The fight shall continue up until the day I finally get right.