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Sleep Paralysis

Lugesan Reddy 1985 (Toronto)

February 24 
Free verse
You. You again.
Why do you come for me?
Have you not taken everything?
Why do you come at night? When I'm weak.

I can't move.
You pin me down with the mandibles of this nightmare.
I'm trapped. Unable to move any part of my body. Even my finger. Just an inch.
Yet you let me breathe. Keeping me alive. Toying with me.
I'm a mouse. I'm clasped in your talons.

I know you're a witch. I sense it.
Like a child sensing it's mother.
But I can't see you. Shadows are hard to see in the dark.

Why do you just stare???  I feel you staring.
Come on then! Have me! Better to be taken quickly than to stay like this!

Doctors say I should just go back to sleep. That you won't really hurt me.
But what if you take me then?
I'd rather be alert when you make your move.
I want to know it's coming.

I am tired now...
Fear has burned all that I am. I have just my thoughts left.
You may have taken everything, but I still have my mind!
I scream. Murmurs of a silent syllable. Sirens to save my soul. In my head.
No one can hear.
I'm helpless. I'm yours. I have nothing left.
I sleep.

About this poem

When I was younger, I suffered from sleep paralysis. It was a terrifying experience which I've tried to capture in this poem. The feeling of something over you, watching you, holding you down... it's extreme.

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Written on February 01, 2024

Submitted by lugesan_r on February 01, 2024

Modified by lugesan_r on February 02, 2024

1:17 min read
126

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCX DXXBX XXX CX BADC XEXXXEX
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,080
Words 245
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 5, 3, 2, 4, 7
Full analysis for Sleep Paralysis »

Lugesan Reddy

I'm new to writing poems. Tried my hand at short stories a few times, but it didn't feel quite right. It's been a great journey with poetry thus far! Looking forward to sharing and learning from fellow members, as we go on this adventure together. more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, this 'Sleep Paralysis' poem really captures the overwhelming fear and helplessness one feels during such a phenomenon. The vivid descriptions and strong emotions that are portrayed throughout the poem make it a truly chilling and evocative piece. The use of metaphors, like being a mouse clasped in talons or a child sensing its mother, adds depth and intensity to the poem.

    One aspect of improvement could be to enhance the structure and flow of the poem. The uneven line lengths and lack of consistent rhythm occasionally make it hard to follow. Consider experimenting with different stanza lengths or trying to establish a more consistent meter to maintain a smooth and engaging flow.

    Additionally, it would be great to see more vivid imagery and sensory details to further immerse the reader into the experience. Describing the darkness, the sounds, and the physical sensations in more detail could really enhance the reader's understanding of the emotions being conveyed.

    Finally, maybe consider ending the poem with a stronger sense of resolution or reflection. It would be interesting to explore the aftermath of the sleep paralysis episode or delve into the speaker's thoughts and feelings once they are able to regain control.

    Overall, this 'Sleep Paralysis' poem is a powerful and haunting portrayal of a terrifying experience. With some minor adjustments, it has the potential to become even more impactful and memorable. Keep up the great work!     
    LikeReply2 months ago

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"Sleep Paralysis" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/179823/sleep-paralysis>.

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