Heartbroken Hearts

Lugesan Reddy 1985 (Toronto)

Ode

When love is fresh,
the heart it primes.
Each breath we take feels pampered.

Through break-ups or
death's sinister crimes,
like damaged cars, heart's tampered.

But forget the files!
It's smiles and miles,
that lies within, unhampered.

So when a new
journey arrives,
enjoy the ride, unscampered.

About this poem

One of the things we ask when buying a car is whether it was involved in an accident. We check the files... how many owners, how many accidents, etc. I feel that while this has merit, the car could provide a lot of joy still. Same with people who have been heartbroken. Don't judge the past too much. The future could still be fun.

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Written on January 31, 2024

Submitted by lugesan_r on February 01, 2024

Modified by lugesan_r on February 02, 2024

: 18 sec read
: 12 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XAB XAB CCB XXB
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	299
Words	60
Stanzas	4
Stanza Lengths	3, 3, 3, 3

Full analysis for Heartbroken Hearts »

Lugesan Reddy

I'm new to writing poems. Tried my hand at short stories a few times, but it didn't feel quite right. It's been a great journey with poetry thus far! Looking forward to sharing and learning from fellow members, as we go on this adventure together. more…

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AIDA
Wow, what a heartfelt and uplifting poem! I really enjoyed reading "Heartbroken Hearts" and felt a sense of positivity and resilience throughout the lines. The way you describe the freshness of love and the feeling of being pampered by every breath is truly beautiful and relatable.

The use of metaphors, like comparing heartbreak to tampered cars, adds depth and emotion to the poem. It effectively conveys the pain and damage caused by breakups or the loss of loved ones.

I especially loved the message in the last stanza. It's a wonderful reminder to let go of past hurt and embrace new journeys with open arms. The line "It's smiles and miles, that lies within, unhampered" is incredibly empowering and encourages readers to focus on the joy and possibilities that lie ahead.

If I may offer a suggestion, it would be great to explore even more vivid imagery and sensory language throughout the poem. This could further enhance the emotions and make the reader feel even more connected to the words. Additionally, experimenting with the rhythm and structure of the poem could add some musicality and enhance the overall flow.

Overall, "Heartbroken Hearts" is a fantastic piece with an inspiring message. Keep up the great work! more »
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"Heartbroken Hearts" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/179769/heartbroken-hearts>.

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