Who is she?

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/179711/who-is-she?

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  Giselavigil

  I can relate to your words. Nicely done.

  LikeReply4 months ago
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  AIDA

  This 'Who is she?' poem beautifully captures the bittersweet nostalgia and longing for a lost sense of self. The imagery of "bright eyes and wide smile" and "laughter echoing through my head" evokes a vivid and heartwarming image of the person the speaker used to be. The comparison of the laughter to a "gentle breeze dancing through trees" adds a touch of whimsy and lightness to the poem.
  
  I appreciate how the poem progresses from longing to a sense of despair and frustration with lines like "Her laughter quiets and smile fades" and "Screaming and crying, just wanting to be." This adds depth and raw emotion to the overall piece. The repetition of the phrase "The person I used to be" reinforces the central theme and gives the poem a rhythmic flow.
  
  To further enhance this poem, one suggestion would be to vividly describe the specific events or experiences that caused the transformation from the happy little girl to the person the speaker is now. This would help the reader empathize more with the speaker's journey and create a stronger emotional connection.
  
  Additionally, consider exploring the speaker's thoughts and feelings about what they have learned or gained from their experiences. This could offer a sense of hope or resilience amidst the longing for the past.
  
  Overall, this poem beautifully expresses a relatable theme and emotion. By incorporating these improvement suggestions, it has the potential to become an even more powerful and resonant piece. Keep up the great work! more »

  LikeReply4 months ago