- Cornered - Tears Of A Woman

Cornered

The most mysterious creatures in the world, a creature which is hard to resist but easy to manipulate,  well, that is what men see in us as “ weak beings.”

When I was young and naive, I thought a prince would find me, so we would live happily ever after.

Unknowing that love is a war that can be won by two individuals, heart to heart and soul to soul so that they can find strength and weakness in their relationships.

Sometimes one needs to fight for what is theirs, but the choice of choosing the right one can be complicated. Well, who knows where the world can lead us? Only idiots will know.

 Sometimes it doesn’t work  the way you hope it to be

For years I was this obedient girl who would do anything to please her father.

But one day, my dad came up to me with this proposal of an arranged marriage to this rich man. I was just 14!! well, I was not a man, so  I had no right or say when it came to marriage.

 If a girl does, she will be seen as having a lack of discipline and sometimes brings disgrace to the family. In my tribe, parents have all the authority to choose a man for their daughters.

 Does it matter if I say anything?

 At first, I thought it was the right thing to agree on, not knowing that I was traded in for my father's debts or what others might call a donation.

 I didn’t know someone from another culture and religion could hurt me like that.

Every time he visits my holy place, he still wants more, more and more until his lust goes to another girl, ....ooh fist  of a man,

He seemed to be nice and kind outside, but inside, he was a psycho, and I was recycled.

Anything I could say to him seemed to be so offensive or worse, and he could just stomp and punch me in the face.

He could beat me so hard like he is  beating a dead donkey

I was taught that being a nice girl was more important than having a voice. The sound of my cries was silenced

My voice was silent. At times it felt like being inside a fragile glass waiting to explode.

I tried to scream, but only my echoes heard me.

 I tried to tell people what I was going through, but no one cared enough to listen because he was too perfect on the outside but a devil inside.

My food always tasted bitter to him; he forced me into romance, pregnant with his baby, 9 Miscarriages later due to his brutality.

I used to live in the basement, tightened with chains, and tortured to death. Even my soul felt the pain, like being in hell.

I used to eat once a day and sometimes left to starve.

I was stripped naked most of the time, “ what an honor for a woman like me?”  

I was a toy that anybody could disrespect by any means.

I was a toy that anybody could taste with no respect or honor.

I was a toy that anybody could come and lose their virginity to at any time and any way.

A toy that was considered less than a prostitute.

Every so often, his friends could come and have their way with me, and he could just sit there and watch

I had nowhere to go.

One day, after a long appetite, I didn’t wish to satisfy

 my husband's friends.

 I acted like l passed out, so I decided to run away after some time.

The only chance l had and thought of was to go to the police, but what can one gain from going to the corrupted cops ??.

Who is that stupid to sell out a man who is feeding you. ? Only a fool would?... My confrontation with the police just made me look like an opportunist.

 I became a disappointment to my neighbors and a shame to my parents. They didn’t even want to set their eyes on me—the pain of being a woman.

All this was simply because I was fed up with my husband's mistreatment and violence.

Even the cops didn't believe me. They thought I was just making things up.

Well, l decided to go far away from the cops

What can one do if she disapproves of her family?

Sometimes an impatient child runs away from her home.

What can one gain for mistreating another just because one is from a different culture and background( poor or rich)

How satisfied can one get for beating up his wife just because she is from a different religion and belief?

How much more can l take?

Even the society and community didn't accept me.

 Should I just end my life right here and now?

 Cause that would be a legitimate action to take at that moment.

So I decided to run away from the police custody because I feared that the police would alert my husband.

The worst was yet to come.

Even the street started to judge me,  telling me what to do and how to speak.

The way I walked was unacceptable in the eyes of the beholder

I was judged based on the way I dressed, compared to a prostitute, and raped. He says, “I deserved it”; how I dressed meant YES to most men.

My value was measured in an unmeasurable way

My worth was worthless  

It's felt like I was cursed with  misfortune

I was helpless because I was hopeless

I felt weak because  my strength was drained off  

Felt distressed

My feet couldn't run anymore. I was tired

Just like humans debrided, my life was torn into pieces

What force in nature can unbreak my heart, release me from my pain

Corruption and corrupted minds are like viruses; both follow what benefits them, no matter the consequences. with the help of the cops, I got captured and sent back to him, as he was still playing the victim

In the process, I became a mother of two daughters

Well, what do I have to lose?

As a mother, what do I have to lose?

My firstborn girl child was sold out to the traffickers by her grandparents due to being half-cast. She was considered an outcast.

She was cursed by the ocean of tears with no turning back.

Who cares about undocumented children anyway? She has no birth certificate, no name in their records, and no one knows where she was born. To hell with her, and the sweetest gift for children like those is sex or being treated as sex objects. If they die in the process, who cares?

My happiness for her was stomped, her dreams were robbed, and her heart was broken into pieces by the same people who were supposed to love her.

My second daughter began prostitution when she was 11. She has been raped multiple times from the age of 5 and not by anybody else but by her uncles.

Who knew sticking in the family and gang rape was part of the tradition and could fill some hearts with sexual pleasure and excitement.

A choice of  a mother became a sin and destroyed her happiness

Well, what else do I have to lose?

I tried to run again, but this time, I didn’t get far because he and his friends followed me

All I wanted was to go and look for my children, but no, I had no right to that

They got me in the woods,

His friends raped me once again,

Took what was important in my body, such as my liver

lynched me

And burnt me

Well, what do I have to lose?

“ I am at peace.”