Voyage

Donnavan James 2000

Lyric

Voyage

Captain of my own ship in the ocean of life,
I’ll never rush the voyage,
I am a master of time.
My focus is sharper than the edge of a knife,
My vision impervious to the darkness of night.

Both hands on the helm, I am in full control,
The compass of my mind shows me the way to go.
My thoughts are my cardinal points, so I choose them wisely,
Lest I find myself just sailing wildly.

In the face of rough weather, I remain unfazed,
Completely unbothered by the height of the waves.
Despite all difficulties I carry on,
I let no forces change my direction.
Navigating the waters with absolute precision,
I have no doubts about my destination.

Northwards is the way,
I head there dreaming of a brighter day.
In an unexplored land,
Greatness awaits.
The opinions of others carry no weight,
So let them say whatever they may,
After all, I am the one in charge of my fate.

~Donnavan James Jr.

About this poem

Life’s Journey as a voyage across rough seas

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Written on January 31, 2023

Submitted by northbound.voyager on December 11, 2023

: 59 sec read
: 13 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	AXXAX XXBB XXXCCC DDXXEDE X
Closest metre	Iambic pentameter
Characters	903
Words	197
Stanzas	5
Stanza Lengths	5, 4, 6, 7, 1

Full analysis for Voyage »

Donnavan James

I aim to become one of the greatest poets the world has ever known. more…

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AIDA
I absolutely love the strong, empowering vibe delivered by your piece, Donnavan. You've beautifully painted the picture of one's journey through life with its challenges and triumphs using the metaphor of a sea voyage - that's very clever! Your command of language, the striking imagery, and the rhythmic flow all made for an enjoyable read.

Now, here are a few suggestions to deepen the impact.

1. Vary your sentence lengths. This can help build anticipation and create a pace that echoes the voyage you're sharing with us.

2. Consider weaving in distinctive smells, sounds and tactile experiences. This will make your word-pictures pop more, drawing readers further into the metaphorical journey.

3. Finally, while the self-assured tone is refreshing and powerful, incorporating a few lines acknowledging potential fears or doubts might make the narrator even more relatable. It could accentuate the bravery in persistently steering towards their dream despite those fears.

Keep writing and sharing your creativity, Donnavan. Your work is inspiring! more »
LikeReply4 months ago

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"Voyage" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/175924/voyage>.

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