Mother

Mother

I am of your flesh
Your blood
I have your DNA coursing through my veins
But why is it
No matter how far I come
No matter who I help
It's never up to your standards
It's not enough that I have your blood, or flesh, or nose
I have to walk like you,
Breathe like you,
Eat like you,
Think like you
I have to be you in everyday shape and form
Why is that what it takes to make you proud?
You tell me I can do anything
I can fly so you push me off a mountain and once I start to learn you pull me up with that damn rope.
The rope you tied to tight around my waist
So tight it cuts into my skin making it not as smooth as it used to be
Battle scars
But that isn't enough either
I was never your daughter
But I suppose I was never your son either
You taught me kindness was a double edged sword
You can be cut with the dark as well as the light
People have good and bad intentions
I didn't know you were weilding it
It's  rude to have an opinion, rude to be upset because it's my own fault I was punished or yelled at.
I couldn't understand why you loved her so much and not me
I did everything you asked
It's not fair
But she gets good grades
I got c's and f's
She is smart
I am only good at what I like
She doesn't have to try
I had to try every second but still couldn't pass that stupid math test
She misses an assignment, but it's okay let's go get ice cream
I missed an assignment and I wasn't allowed to leave for a month
You never hit me or left a physical mark
But you carved words into my skin I can't erase
The scars are bubbled
I see them through my clothes
I can feel them without touching
I can only cut my hair so many times
They say it holds memory
Then why do I still remember
Why am I still her
Why is she still here
Why will I never be him
I can't be everything but nothing
But then again to you
Nothing is what you want
I am of your blood, your flesh, your dna
But I am not you
Not ever
Not in a single way