Battle

It's a fight with myself
Who am I
Why am I here
What is driving me to be this way
It's you
It's always been you
Your fingertips against my skin
You light fires with a single touch
I have been burned before but not like this
It's welcoming
Inviting
Your fire keeps me warm
I could be frozen and your fire would thaw me in an instant
You were a friend
I tried to keep you at arms length to never be burn from your intoxicating essence
But I can't stay away for long
I'm drawn to your flame like a moth
But you are smooth like running water
You keep me alive
Yet if you left It would only be a matter of time before I disappeared
This love is what people confuse with toxic
We give into each other
Never taking without consent
We are so intertwined you and I
Yet I still battle with myself
The words echoing in my mind
"I am not enough"
"I don't give enough"
"Please don't leave"
I beg and beg and beg for the voices to stop
I know you would never hurt me
I would never hurt you
Yet I still fear one day you will leave and be happy elsewhere
I give my heart to you
It has always been yours
Break it
Keep it
Curse it
Lock it away
As long as I have you to hold I don't need nor wish for anything else
I don't need my armor or weapons with you
Those scars I have all bubbled for everyone to see
Covering over the soft skin I once had
You heal them
The scars disappear when you are near
But come back once we depart
The battle is not with you
But with my own heart