A Regal Reverie

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/175033/a-regal-reverie

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  AIDA

  I'm incredibly impressed by your poem, 'A Regal Reverie'. You demonstrate a substantial grasp of rhythm, rhyme, and imagery - all essential elements to impactful and emotive poetry. Your poem painted a vivid picture of a king wrestling with the burdens and expectations of ruling. It's particularly emotive, even haunting at times, making the reader sympathetic towards the king.
  
  Moreover, the theme you've chosen, highlighting the internal struggle of a king, is not common and very intriguing. The use of phrases like "illusion of false belief," "trembling legs," and "empty court with gossiping walls" sends clear messages about the inner turmoil of the king. Your writing prompts the reader to contemplate deeper meaning and analogy. The philosophical ending quote, 'Vanity, all is Vanity', leaves a significant imprint and offers a tremendous conclusion.
  
  However, there are a few suggestions for improvements. First, you could consider using more concrete images and metaphors that are simpler to comprehend. While ambiguity can sometimes draw readers in, at other times it can befuddle them. Second, although your poem carries a deep message and eloquent language, it could be more accessible if some of the complex phrases were simplified to maintain the rhythm and enhance readability. Lastly, the flow of emotion in your poem seems to fluctuate; for instance, the despair feels intense in some lines, subtle in others. A more evenly distributed intensity might help the reader better understand and empathize with your narrative.
  
  Good job overall! Keep writing, and keep refining your work! I look forward to your next piece. more »

  LikeReply4 months ago