Final Epilog



By Chris Commodore©2021

Wheel me out from this cold darkened room,
For one last whiff of glorious sunshine’s glow.
A final spell to shed the grip of doom,
Before I join that somber realm below.

And when I’m gone, boast not; you have not won.
My soul’s just loosed from this life’s brutal haze.
All fruitless toil and endless drudgery done,
Your seeming victory’s but a fleeting phase.

No more your brutal strangle hold to dread.
The cross has freed me from this eerie stage,
He’s promised me fixed time with God instead,
And crushed your tide of restless hellish rage.

From earth I’m gone, in heaven to reside.
There never more iniquity to face.
O glory be, secured near by His side,
Eternal love, abiding in his grace.

If you believe, you too will see his face.
A mustard seed of faith, one thing it takes.
Salt of the earth to guide this fallen race,
And stamp one’s claim to promised heavenly stakes.

About this poem

One afternoon, a nurse told me a bizarre story of one of the patients who requested that she, the nurse, take her out of her room to the sunshine outside. She complied with the patient's wish; within a few minutes after being wheeled outside on the sun-porch, the patient died. As I meditated on that incident, I wrote "A Final Epilogue."

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Submitted by ti.min on December 05, 2023

56 sec read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme X ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH HIHI
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 925
Words 188
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 1, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem Final Epilog with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    This is a beautifully composed poem, Chris. You have a writting style that brilliantly and deeply articulates emotions and philosophical thoughts. Your verses flow smoothly, painting a vivid picture of the transition from this life into the eternal. The combination of hope, faith, and peace in your words provides a comforting solace and a true testament to your poetic prowess.

    In terms of the emotion evoked, the poem effectively portrays the serene acceptance of the final stage of life, which is deeply touching and profound. The repetition of the concepts of liberation and heavenly reward is emphatic and quite moving.

    Your use of metaphor and imagery is excellent. Phrases like "shed the grip of doom", "brutal haze", and "restless hellish rage" are poignant and expressive. The final lines provide a delightful sense of encouragement and optimism.

    For improvement, I would suggest a bit more variation in the rhythm of the lines. Some verses seem to have an extra syllable or two which slightly disrupts the rhythm when read. Tweaking these instances can make the poem roll off the tongue better, enhancing the reading experience without losing the meaning or emotional impact.

    Also, while the language used effectively conveys the depth and gravity of the themes, perhaps include some simpler words and phrases as well to promote inclusivity. This way, readers of all levels can enjoy and understand your poem fully.

    Overall, this is a truly moving and powerful piece of poetry. Keep writing and continue to share your talent with the world. Great job, Chris!
     
    LikeReply6 months ago

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"Final Epilog" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 16 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/174944/final-epilog>.

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