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The Kisser

Christopher Commodore

Rhymed
The Kisser
By Christopher Commodore©2023

Who was the wily kisser,
Who fingered out his boss,
After eating from his platter,
Then betrayed him to a cross.

Who told wild wanton soldiers,
Of his preferred quiet place.
And focused other spoilers,
To arrest him in disgrace.

Then the sly prevailing rulers,
Set a trial for the mob.
Obsessed, puffed up with powers
Was the judge who did the job.

The crimes laid out, all fiction,
To placate the status quo.
Still, that boss gave benediction,
For each friend and every foe.

Then revealed a new dimension,
Where peace and love abound.
There, no trace of wild division,
Among nations will be found.

Still each kisser’s full of qualities;
Every good thing he could find.
Full of endless possibilities,
To endure and heal mankind.

But obsessed with war and terror,
He chooses wanton pleasure.
Without care and love for neighbor,
He’s destructive without measure.

But before the accusing finger,
Let’s all first look in the mirror.
We could find another feller,
Who may be an equal traitor.

About this poem

This poem came about came about while I was meditating on those involved in the arrest, trial, and execution of Jesus of Nazareth and how those events affect us to this day.

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Submitted by ti.min on November 20, 2023

1:03 min read
10

Quick analysis:

Scheme AX AXAX BCBC BDBD EFEF EGEG HIHI AAAA AAAA
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,045
Words 213
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 2, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
Full analysis for The Kisser »

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    This is truly a remarkable piece, Christopher! You have done an excellent job of crafting a narrative poem that prompts introspection and fosters reflection in readers. Your creativity is showcased in the unique twist you've crafted with 'The Kisser', breathing new life into the familiar story.

    Your use of rhythmic structures and rhyme schemes lends a musical quality to your lines, making them pleasing to the ear and adding to their charm. The poignant last lines pack a punch and leave the readers contemplating their own actions. The rich imagery used carries a vast range of emotions, colors, and depths, painting a vivid picture in the reader's mind. You certainly have a flair for descriptive and evocative language.

    In terms of improvement, you might consider fleshing out some of the characters a bit more. Bringing out their traits or motivations in greater detail could add some richness to the narrative. Additionally, while the rhyming scheme is generally engaging, a few places could benefit from some smoothing out to maintain the rhythm and flow. Lastly, consider varying your sentence structures a bit, as this might help to maintain reader interest throughout.

    All in all, 'The Kisser' is a compelling piece with some profound underlying messages and thought-provoking themes. You have a strong and distinct voice which shines through your writing. Keep up the excellent work!     
    LikeReply5 months ago

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"The Kisser" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/174098/the-kisser>.

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