If It Wasn't For What It Is

If it wasn't for what it is,
Few would notice to wonder why...
Someone could afford to buy,
What neither of them needed.
And had sat long enough to collect dust on it.

But because it was advertised,
As the last time offered...
At half of the original price.
And labeled as a rare antique.
Nowhere in sight displayed had been the cost!

So...
A manager was called,
To prevent the heat to rise...
On an escalating argument.

'Are you the manager here?'

'Yes.
And how may I help you?'

'That couple over there,
Holding whatever that is in their hands.
Put it down to then walk away.
Turned around, came back.
Claimed it theirs.
After I picked it up,
To notice it to be an antique.
Then snatched it out of my hand.'

'Oh, that?'

'Yes.
What is it and how much does it cost?'

'Are you sure?'

'AM I sure?
I recognized the bargain it was,
When I laid my eyes on that half price sign.
Then 'they' came back,
Believing this treasure I would let them have.
As if it had been,
One of those old mop wringers...
Janitors used to squeeze water from mops.
And sat on the side of a bucket.
What is it anyway?'

'Well...
How much are you willing to pay for it?'

'It doesn't matter.
I have got to have it.
After I wipe off the dust.
Paint it yellow.
Mount it on my living wall over the fireplace.
And then put artificial flowers in it?
With candles on the mantle?
My neighbors would beg me to tell them,
Where I got such a unique piece of art!
And my knowing it's an antique too?
Do you have any history on this item?'

'Uh...
About that sign you saw,
It was left there when...'

'I don't care about that.
Forget the history.
I know what I see to know what it is.
How much?'

'Well...
If you insist.
Five thousand dollars.'

'FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS???
Are you kidding me?
I thought you would sell it for much more.
Here.
Take my credit card.'

'Sure.
Give me a few minutes.
I need to call the janitor.
He's been for weeks,
Accusing his maintenance crew...
Of stealing equipment from him.
And you said you will pay $5,000.00!'

'Go, take care of your business first.
I'll have the check for you when you return.
And...
Why is that couple,
Frowning and rolling their eyes at me?'

'Jealous.
Raging with envy!
They know a steal when they see one.
And...
Check this out.
Never to buy anything either.
Give me a few minutes.
I'll be right back.'

'They are following you.
And don't you dare let them talk you out,
Of the deal we made.'

'I promise you.
A deal is a deal.'