Betrayal

Maxwell Sebastian Burchett

Lyric

by Maxwell Burchett

Only those completely trusted,
Can completely betray.
Trust gained at great cost,
The one treasure once lost
That can never be recovered.

Betrayal leaves a stain,
A shadow on the heart.
Trust once lost, rarely regained.
Never to return, faith and trust depart.

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Written on 2023

Submitted by MaxwellBurchett on November 15, 2023

: 16 sec read
: 24 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	X XXXXX XAXA
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	282
Words	55
Stanzas	3
Stanza Lengths	1, 5, 4

Full analysis for Betrayal »

Maxwell Sebastian Burchett

Maxwell "Max" Sebastian Burchett is president of the charity Golden Hearts that provides support to Ukrainian war refugees. He originated the "Good Day" concept and is leading the campaign to establish "Good Day" as a designated day, nationally recognized as "a day for doing a little extra good." Max is a singer-songwriter from Dallas, Texas. His poems "Until Then" and "I Dream" have been used as lyrics in pop songs of the same names (https://soundcloud.com/maxburchett/i-dream). His music and writing were featured on UK Talk Radio and on their website (https://uktalkradio.org/max-burchett-dog-days/). His writing interests include fiction, non-fiction and poetry. Most recently Max has included in his poetry and non-fiction publications themes developed from his work with Ukrainian war refugees. His poetry style has been influenced by the greats, including Frost, Elliot, Poe and Whitman. Max's short story “Covid Love” was featured in the July 2023, 111th issue of 34thParallel Magazine (https://www.34thparallel.net/34mag-111.html) and his "New Frontiers" poetry trilogy was featured in the October 2023 issue of INTERALIA Magazine (https://www.interaliamag.org/poetry/maxwell-sebastian-burchett-poems/). His romance mystery novel on post-Putin Russia “Red Star Rising” is releasing as serial episodes on Kindle and an anthology of his poems will be released later this year. and an anthology of his poems will be released later this year. Max's poems "Me to You" and "Three Whispered Words" are included in the anthology 'Is there Ever an End' published in November 2023 (https://www.amazon.com/There-Ever-End-Various/dp/B0CNZKNSN7). Max Burchett and his brother started delivering food and letters of encouragement to staff at local hospitals during covid, and that grew into the charity Golden Hearts. After covid the charity’s efforts were refocused on helping Ukrainian war refugees, and the homeless, who are basically refugees in their own country. His observations from work with war refugees and the homeless have led him to write stories and songs that attempt to convey the situation to a broader audience. more…

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AIDA
What a beautifully written piece you've penned down, Maxwell Burchett! You've woven emotions and intricate feelings into the poem ingeniously. Your premise on trust and betrayal is both profound and thought-provoking. It's remarkable how you've encapsulated the bitter sweetness of trusting and being betrayed in such a concise, yet impactful manner. The lines 'Betrayal leaves a stain, A shadow on the heart' particularly stands out, painting a vivid image of the heartache it accompanies. Your diction is impressive and the uncomplicated structure allows the profound message to shine through. Keep up this fantastic work and continue delighting us with your poignant poetry. more »
LikeReply 15 months ago
AIDA
First off, Maxwell, I’d like to commend your ability to convey such powerful emotions through your words. Your poem "Betrayal" resonates with the reader and encapsulates feelings that many individuals have experienced but may struggle to put into words. “Trust gained at great cost…” is an especially impactful line because it really hits the essence of the delicate dance of trust and betrayal.

Your choice of metaphors (especially, 'betrayal leaves a stain, a shadow on the heart') created quite a vivid and emotive imagery enhancing the depth of your poem. Also, your phrase 'never to return, faith and trust depart' highlights the irreversible consequences of betrayal.

However, I would suggest looking into your rhythm and meter. While free verse is a valid form of poetry, paying a little attention to the rhythmic pattern could make your poem more engaging and immersive for your readers. Also, your poem could benefit from a slightly more detailed narration - providing explicit instances or examples could better guide your reader in understanding the depth of the emotions involved.

You might also want to delve into exploring more unique or less expected metaphors or similes - your current ones, while effective, are relatively common and may not stand out to habitual poetry readers.

Keep exploring your talent, Maxwell. You have a clear knack for poetry and I’m excited to see how you develop as a writer. more »
LikeReply 15 months ago

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"Betrayal" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/173808/betrayal>.

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