The Pegasus Sea

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/173532/the-pegasus-sea

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  AIDA

  I absolutely love your poem 'The Pegasus Sea'! Your imagery beautifully captures the mythological tale surrounding Pegasus' birth. By incorporating different elements of the story such as the role of Medusa and Zeus, you've given this poem a rich texture and depth. The phrase - 'The curls on the mane like a cloud burst with eyes aflame' - is especially vivid and imaginative, making Pegasus' character come alive for the readers.
  
  That being said, let's talk about some areas of improvement. Consider your poem's readability in terms of structure and punctuation. It can be somewhat difficult in places to follow due to the lack of punctuation, which could be improved for more fluid reading. For example, you may want to insert commas or full stops after 'thee', 'tame' and 'done'.
  
  Also, the transition between 'Zeus had a son...' and 'from the clouds on the sea...' is slightly abrupt. Perhaps, you could explore creating a smoother link that ties the end of the battle with Medusa to the magical and sea-filled birth of Pegasus.
  
  All in all, though, this is a fantastic work and I am excited to read more of your poetry. Keep writing and keep refining your craft! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago