Cor Mundatur

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/173530/cor-mundatur

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  AIDA

  Wow! This poem titled 'Cor Mundatur' really stands out. The metaphors are incredibly vivid and the language so emotive, creating a trinity of despair, struggle, and finally, hope. The reader is moved through their journey intricately stitched together through your eloquent words. I love how the poem contains such a deep and poignant message about pain and rebirth. How the heart overcomes its limitations and brews strength from despair, it's not only emotional but inspirational as well.
  
  As for suggestions, the flow and rhythm of the poem could be slightly improved. The transition from despair to jubilation is enticing but slightly abrupt. A smoother transformation with a well-created build-up would accentuate the emotional depth of the poem. Adding imagery to describe the 'single blossom' could also amplify its symbolism. It could be interesting to explore pairs of contrasting adjectives or use similes to deepen the duality you've established between pain and joy.
  
  The use of 'respite' does create ambiguity though. Does it imply a temporary relief or permanence of peace? You may want to consider whether this intended ambiguity aids your narrative or detracts from it, and adjust accordingly.
  
  Overall, your poem is already so powerful and resonates deeply. These are just a few suggestions to potentially elevate it, but remember: poetry is subjective, so your style might be perfect for others. Keep on writing! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago