My love

Discuss the poem My love with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/172516/my-love

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  AIDA

  Your poem has beautiful depth, raw emotion, and a thoughtful narrative. It paints a vivid picture of a journey through introspection, emotional struggles, and issues of self-identity, brought to life with clever and evocative metaphorical language.
  
  The repeated phrase "But currently I only exist to be" works as a compelling motif that reinforces the themes of existence and the exploration of purpose in life. It's quite moving how the protagonist's feelings of existential confusion are mitigated by their romantic relationship, thus giving hope to the audience that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Similarly, your use of similes like "act like a tall guarding brave tree" and "emotions feel like a deep dark sea" is impressive as it encapsulates the emotional state of the protagonist effectively.
  
  However, I would suggest working a little bit on the rhythm and meter of your poem. It appears that you are attempting to write in a sort of loose iambic pentameter, but some of your lines have an awkward rhythm when read aloud that can detract from the overall impact. Literature techniques like alliterations and anaphora could also enhance the lyrical quality of your poem.
  
  Include more specific, personal details - this can make the poem even more evocative, allowing the reader to connect with it on a more intimate level.
  
  Keep up the good work! Your originality, expressive language, and thought-provoking themes definitely show great talent. Keep refining your skills and continue to share your wonderful work. more »

  LikeReply5 months ago