I’ve Been…..Part 7

The beatings continue to happen, but
April 29, 2001 I’ve finally got tired of
dealing with his bill shit
Approximately! 1 year and 14days
after my daughter went to heaven.
I was so tired and exhausted.
I lost my vision; I lost my way,
I lost the fight: I wanted it all to end.
That day I couldn’t take no more
of your beatings, and
The loss of my daughter
The hands around my neck was the last thing. I allowed
I remembered my will  gave up.
There were no more.
fight in me. I didn’t want to leave my son, but
I missed my baby girl. I wanted to see her,
I thought my world was over.
I stared at Daysha picture.  
I prayed and prayed, and said to myself.
God, I ask you for your help, so therefore
I don’t need to worry.
I closed my eyes, but something instantly occurred. God removed your hands.
from around my neck
and made you instantly fall asleep.
He quickly lifted me up out of the bed
So, I can leave quietly.
He guided me out the door to 133rd street
To run and get help even if it meant.
running to the police
That day I never looked back.
I’ve been threatened( I’ve been stalked.
I’ve been harassed.
I’ve had a gun pulled out on me.
During the time I thought
I was actually free at last.
I’ve been through so much in my past,
You were one of the reasons.
my pain last for a long time
In order for me to
forgive myself for staying.
I gave God my pain. I kept praying,
In the midnight hour
God removed everything.
and gave me peace and power.
I was able to forgive you.
God is good, because look now we’re cool.
I’m grateful; I’m here.
to speak my truth. No longer silent
God bless you Ruthie.
I’ve Been….Free