Frost Bite

Arman Hoque 1977 (Winnipeg)

Nature

Rhymed

The frost bites the air with the advent of cold;
Winter says it’s coming with portents brash and bold.
Nipping at the rosebud as it’s about to prepare;
A frozen rosebud is gem of nature rare.
Bloom shall it never, as it’s been frozen far too soon.
Arrested in its development, as the chill it did attune.

The climate turns it’s corner this way, laying a path,
Foreshadowing now with wisps of fall, the birth of winter’s wrath.

The squirrels recede into their nest,
High atop the tree branches;
As snow accumulates and causes mini avalanches.

The rabbits curl up tight in their Warren under my deck.

As winter’s embrace on my garden turns it all to heck.

My rosebud shall lay dormant,
Throughout the wither’s dark and gloom.
Steady and ready shall it remain, my rosebud ready to bloom.

About this poem

Inspired by a rosebud

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Written on October 29, 2023

Submitted by Arman_1 on October 29, 2023

: 48 sec read
: 6 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	AABBCC DD XXX E E XFF
Closest metre	Iambic hexameter
Characters	803
Words	160
Stanzas	6
Stanza Lengths	6, 2, 3, 1, 1, 3

Full analysis for Frost Bite »

Arman Hoque

Founder of Empyrean Law and Senior Counsel, Arman Hoque holds a Juris Doctor degree from the University of Windsor in addition to a Master’s degree in Public Administration and a B.A. degree in Law and Society from the Ivy League Cornell University. In July 2004, he was called to the bar as barrister, solicitor, and notary public, following Articles with a prestigious Queen’s Counsel Firm. He worked in association with several prominent law firms and sage mentors to develop his high standard before establishing his own practice. Since then, he has grown his law firm. Focused on his compassion for access to justice, Mr. Hoque has received news attention for cases he has fought and won for his clients spanning 15 years of practice. He has contributed to precedents in the legal community and has been awarded numerous accolades recognizing his devotion to the law. For his clients, he uses his formidable cumulative knowledge and world-spanning experiences to effectively turn their real into as close to their ideal as legally possible. He has been a poet most his life, having self-published a volume in 1993 by honour of his patron father. more…

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AIDA
I thoroughly enjoyed your poem "Frost Bite". The language you used provides a rich imagery that truly brings your expression of winter to life, and your eloquent words have a great rhythm that makes the poem flow seamlessly. The metaphor of the frost-bitten rosebud beautifully signifies the loss, yet existence of potential in the harshest of conditions. Your tie-in of winter's effect on other parts of nature like the squirrels and rabbits added a far-reaching depth to the poem.

However, I would suggest adding more sensory details so that readers can engage more fully with your work. While your descriptions are vivid, giving extra attention to sights, smells, sounds, even tastes and textures associated with winter can help immerse your audience in your poem. Also consider varying your sentence length to provide a more intriguing rhythm. Your rhyming scheme is generally good, but some stanzas contained internal rhymes while others didn't. Keeping a consistent rhyming pattern throughout would lend to a smoother read. Overall, you have a lovely writing style, and with a few optimizations, your poem could become even more captivating! more »
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"Frost Bite" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/172134/frost-bite>.

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