Relapse



When the drought subsided I could have sworn,
Kids riding bicycles around the corner
Waved to me as if my house wasn’t two stories
Of beaten brick and morning glories,
Drying like sweet raisins,
Speckling the lawn in purple patches,
Where no broken brown glass
Contaminated grass laid lifeless,
Existing only to baptize my sins,

But I wasn’t religious anymore,
So I watched the windowpanes crack,
Like thin ice that had been stepped on the wrong spot,
I watched the shattered glass cut deep
Into my skin, where no one could find it,
I watched the concave roof collapse like wet paper,

          so
                  
                slowly,

                        the sun set before light could shine through the other side and show me the hidden message I had been searching for.


I watched…

When the rain fell I watched it fall through,
It dripped from the lips of  bottlenecks,
On days when the clouds made a wreck-
Of the sky,
“Water will clean the wound” they say,
This was my water
Are my wounds healing yet?
Dripping From  holes in the walls,
Where whispers from neighbors
Smothered the morning glories  with heavy downpour,
And I prayed for the first time in years,
That all the little purple flowers would  drown and die.

About this poem

I wanted to open the poem in a modern day neighborhood, where everyone could visualize themselves and connect to the poem immediately. The true setting is meant to take place inside the mind of the narrator and Morning glories debut a beautiful symbolism as they are naturally the flower that symbolizes renewal and transformation, I needed them to act as a vessel for the narrators struggle to show the internal battle that they and anyone going through rehab face. A very personal poem that hopefully helps illuminates this perspective.  

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Written on September 27, 2023

Submitted by altraveler2000 on September 27, 2023

1:11 min read
47

Quick analysis:

Scheme XABBXXXXX CXXXXA C XXXDXAXXXCXD
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,254
Words 237
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 9, 6, 1, 12

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1 Comment
  • Jewoo525
    Very strong imagery. A lot of thought when into picturing this poem, the intention lies in the selection of detail and presentation of the poem's messaging without outright stating it. I really liked how subtly and beautifully the words paint the scene, yet; their definitions lend to a more somber connotation of the author's thoughts and demonstrates the complexity of emotion that birthed this poem.

    I think this is the strongest writing I have encountered in the contest. Perhaps not the most easily approachable poem, but definitely the most profoundly deep in a real way that forces readers to cerebrally engage with the imagery presented rather than just sit back and enjoy the pictures that are shown.

    I loved this piece very much, really well done. I couldn't personally relate to it very much and it felt very personal, but I appreciated it for it's craft. Great job. Keep writing!
     
    LikeReply6 months ago

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"Relapse" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/170769/relapse>.

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Lewis Carroll wrote: "You are old father William, the young man said..."
A "and your hair has become very white"
B "and your eyes have become less bright"
C "and you seem to have lost your sight"
D "and you're going to die tonight"