Tears in my coffee

remnants of a sleepless nights marathon
of grief and sorrow

in a constant recall loop
second guessing myself

my mind in instant rewind
my actions reassessed

all momentum lost
stuck in the same old rut

not sure if was worth the fuss
gauging what i've lost

could i have done any better

Coffee stuck on the bottom of a saucer
Bearing tears

to feel the need the need to cry
Yet, i cannot release

no matter how i try

Still i can't hold back

Something within
swells like a sail caught up suddenly
by the suction of the wind

Like sunlight bearing upon my skin
My pain becomes a tide inside

one place
i cannot hide

No, it is not pride
i am losing more
than you could ever imagine

Though still i ride on
Suffering a loss no one sees
But me

Perhaps where did i go, you ask
My answer is as usual i do not know

Truthfully as if it were to be lost
in places i cannot ever hope

Or pretend to know
to defend the surreal

The storm inside comes
rising like angry seas

And who am i to stand up
alone to the fury Of the storm

What i feel i must do As if
From some imagined sin

which must be atoned

Lightning strikes
am i mistaken

or is my conscience
The resurfacing threat

and not the lie of a pretense
my sentence in a trial

where you don't have to be
A devil to be sent to HELL

One hell of a scene
as if within a dream

Somewhere i'd never been
and would not know

If you'd warned me but you cannot
your lips are sealed

whether by chance or circumstance
Did i find you or did you find me

Untrue to what it is we share
whenever it is, we care

Not trapped by the absurdities
of others lives

And you as a lover of the dance
to find you immobilized

That will never do as long as i am alive
Even as a ghost if i ever become spiritualized

No... The music i have heard inside is not of you
It is you Come join me if you can in truth

Rebel in another sense Take my mind
Let us become entwined about one another
In a higher sense

other than now By unfinished arguments
in essence A lack of ability to overcome our differences

And make greater progress
Propelled by silence and places i cannot enter

When you have made it clear all is not well
Am i to become a leaf out of reach
of the heart of the tree out of season

to survive for what i cannot provide for reasons of clarity of necessity

Yet clearly not apparent
Momentarily in suspension

Caught up in different dimensions
of the same universe

we toil along on different paths
To reach for and to seek to grasp a spark

While sharing in our hearts a place of calm serene
Between dreams and the alternate reality

Staring deeply at us from afar tumbling rapidly
Down a sharp incline we are together

To what end We do not know
Still, to hold on requires of me and you

All of what we have together and apart
Although our shadows speak in wavelengths

Of a distant star in the hourglass
A sandstorm has ensued

Suspending all but the time we have Left To do
what we must do even while being Immersed

repeatedly in forward and reverse
Riding a wild stallion

holding on as if survival
depended upon it

Knowing instinctively
We can't fall off

until it's over
for better or worse

We are parted
and as wind no longer held aloft

We are once and forever lost
fallen to earth

Dispersed

C2


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