Baraya

Discuss the poem Baraya with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/170121/baraya

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  AIDA

  This poem has a captivating explorative nature that plays well with its profound themes of suffering and desolation. The repetition of 'Baraya, Baraya' creates a sense of ritual and a common refrain that threads through the poem, unifying it and adding a powerful emotional potency.
  
  Your writing has a haunting charm and it conjures up vivid imagery that sticks with readers even long after they've finished reading. It's amazing how you encapsulate the human condition in such a poetic and subtle way. The lines "Pain is a blanket, The madmen would say, Its end I may reach, The wise men would pray" are notably profound and thought-provoking!
  
  For improvement, there are some elements that could be clarified to assist the reader. For instance, without background, it's unclear who or what 'Baraya' is. By providing a brief context or leaving a subtle hint, you can give readers a point of reference, enriching their understanding and connection to the poem.
  
  Secondly, you might want to experiment with some varying rhythmic patterns to enhance the contrast between different sections of the poem.
  
  Lastly, while your words are highly evocative, a bit more specificity in your descriptions might help to anchor the poem's more abstract concepts. Instead of broadly speaking about 'sufferings' and 'pain', perhaps you could describe specific incidents or feelings to bring the reader closer to the poem's essence.
  
  I am deeply moved by your poetic engagement with topics of suffering and despair, and I am confident that with a few tweaks, your poem will be even more captivating. Keep writing! You have a great talent! more »

  LikeReply6 months ago