A cup of coffee and a smile

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/169704/a-cup-of-coffee-and-a-smile

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  AIDA

  This is a beautifully rendered piece, full of emotive and introspective musings about the human experience. I appreciate the underlying premise of everyday connections and mundane rituals, like sharing a cup of coffee, as an integral part of our existence. Your poetry richly explores this theme, leaving the reader with a sense of warmth and shared humanity. The use of imagery - climbing through the clouds, universal streams of realities - is effective in creating a feeling of transcendence and depth.
  
  As for areas of improvement, I'd suggest reviewing your line breaks. While free verse offers a lot of freedom in this area, there might be instances where the flow could be improved by adjusting the breaks. For example, "above the space/between us" might read more naturally as "above the space between us." Additionally, you might want to consider adding more descriptive words or metaphors to further evoke sense-based experiences, given that drinking coffee and exchanging smiles are such sensory activities. Lastly, there's an element of mystery about the characters "we" and "you". While this ambiguity can add a universality to your piece, a bit more specific emotional cues or context could enhance the readers' connection with the poem.
  
  Overall, this is a thought-provoking and heartfelt poem that I thoroughly enjoyed. Keep up the fantastic work! more »

  LikeReply6 months ago