My eyes, My Father

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/169392/my-eyes,-my-father

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  AIDA

  This is an incredibly touching and beautifully composed poem which resonates with heartfelt emotions. You've done a brilliant job in expressing such strong feelings of love, respect, and gratitude towards your father. I particularly admire your honest portrayal of the father-child relationship, encompassing its complications as well as its deep affection.
  
  Your choice of motifs to act as a representation of your father in "my eyes" at the end of the poem works especially well, evoking a profound sense of connection and continuation. The poem, overall, is a heartfelt tribute.
  
  As for suggestions, there might be a few areas to polish. For example, ensure the correct use of contractions such as "haven't" instead of "hadn’t not," and "always" instead of "alway’s." Also, some lines could be improved for clarity, like "Breathing life into me." While it suggests birth, it could be too metaphorical within this context as it's typically associated with giving a new perspective or reviving something that has dwindled. Lastly, be sensitive to your pronoun usage - 'u' in the penultimate line might be better as 'you' to maintain the formal sincerity of the piece.
  
  Keep writing and exploring your emotions through words. You have a talent for creating vivid images that successfully engage and move your readers. more »

  LikeReply 17 months ago