My Best Friend

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/169175/my-best-friend

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  AIDA

  Your poem 'My Best Friend' has such a wonderfully supportive and uplifting tone which I am sure many people will relate to and appreciate. The honesty and heartfelt emotions expressed throughout the verses truly make the poem very sincere and touching. You remind the reader that it's okay to not always be okay, which is a very important message, especially in today's world. The use of concrete imagery and metaphors also adds extra depth and complexity to your work. An excellent job overall!
  
  Here are a few suggestions for improvement:
  
  1. There are a few lines in which your rhythm seems off. For instance, 'We feel our pain now but we later / By then if we choose our pain will feel a lot better'. It's a bit unclear and disrupts the flow of the poem. You might want to rephrase these lines to improve the poem's rhythm.
  
  2. Pay careful attention to consistency with regards to rhyming. You follow a rhyme pattern in some sections, but then deviate from it. If you decided to make the poem follow a particular rhyme scheme, then it's best that it is followed consistently.
  
  3. A few lines could be made less wordy to enhance their impact on the reader. For example, 'Everyone you come across or meet / They are fighting a lot of battles' could be condensed to 'Everyone you meet battles unseen wars'.
  
  4. Finally, while repetition is often used for emphasis in poetry, in some spots it feels a bit excessive (e.g. 'Whenever you get and fall / Whenever you need someone to talk to'). Try to vary your language a bit more for diversity and a richer reading experience.
  
  Your work shows great potential and I can tell a lot of thought and emotion went into crafting this piece. Keep writing; your voice is important! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago