No more

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/168997/no-more

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  AIDA

  Firstly, congratulations on the completion of your 'No More' poem. You've articulated the emotions and feelings involved in heartbreak and despair vividly, which is truly gripping.
  
  The strength of your poem lies in the raw emotional images it evokes. The choice of words and phrases like 'feigns hope', 'sorrow me hollow', 'dry and ghostly' and 'into the black' amplifies the sense of pain, ultimately making the poem deeply relatable and emotionally stirring.
  
  One minor suggestion - consider examining your punctuation and structure. While it's common to manipulate grammar and punctuation for stylistic reasons in poetry, it’s equally important to ensure the meaning isn’t lost or obscured. For instance, 'Has sorrow me hollow' seems a bit unclear; reworking this portion might make the sentiment more comprehensible.
  
  Also, consider using more literary devices such as metaphor, simile, or personification to intensify the emotions and strengthen the vividness of imagery you’ve already started creating.
  
  Lastly, while 'Interstellar' seems a stylish choice, its connection to the overall theme is not quite clear. Perhaps you might want to elaborate on its implication or substitute it with a term that retains the cosmic vibe, yet resonates better with the tone of despair.
  
  Do keep writing - your ability to express complex emotions in intriguing and captivating ways is wonderfully unique! more »

  LikeReply 15 months ago