Closing Night

Faylee Goren 2008 (Toronto)

Free verse

Closing night

It’s closing night,
And we are getting ready
For the final show.
There’s a feeling of nostalgia in the air;
Heavy,
Painful.
The pain with her strong arms,
Pulling our hearts back to this very moment,
While the rest of our bodies move further and further away.

Now we sit in our dressing room,
And wear our cremes and clothes.
Wondering if this will be
The best part of our lives,
Or the part nothing else could live up to.
But one thing is for sure,
If we die tonight,
We go the right way.

It’s closing night.

Doesn’t matter that Tom’s uncle
Is fast asleep in the first row.
Or that Jeremy’s’ aunt is
Clapping at the wrong parts.
Because tonight is ours.

It’s closing night.

We are in the wings,
And we feel the lightness
Of flying onto stage.
It rushes by in a cacophony
Of colours and shapes.

It’s closing night.

We sit, soak it in.
“Who’s gonna do it”
You ask.
“I will .”
I answer
I stand with the weight like rocks in my pocket
Trying to convince me to sit back down.
Telling me
“Just stay a little longer.”
“Sit, have a cup of coffee.”
It’s warm here.
But I know if I sit back down I’ll never leave.
It’s the feeling,
Of closing your eyes in the morning,
Just resting them lightly,
Heavy eyelids begging to be rested
But I must resist.

I walk up to the door.

And lock it.
One final glance
A hard stop, a soul crushing end.
And as I look around at all of you,
I wonder if I will remember you.
Or will I pass you by on the street,
Like a stranger.
Like all of this didn’t just happen.
It’s closing night.
What are we going to do next?
I place a gentle kiss on the ground.
While walking away with whatever stride I have left
In my step.
I close my eyes

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Submitted by Fayleeg26 on September 14, 2023

Modified by Fayleeg26 on September 14, 2023

: 1:56 min read
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Quick analysis:

Scheme	Abcxbdxxe xxbxfxae A dcxxx A xxxbx A xgxxhxxbhbxxiibxx x gxxffxhxAxxxxx
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	1,731
Words	387
Stanzas	10
Stanza Lengths	9, 8, 1, 5, 1, 5, 1, 17, 1, 14

Full analysis for Closing Night »

Faylee Goren

Faylee is a 15 year old poet and songwriter from Canada. She enjoys all forms of creative expression, mostly written! more…

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B.mathislange
Exceptionally written.Kept my interest. This ending got my heart . I place a gentle kiss on the ground.
While walking away with whatever stride I have left
In my step.
I close my eyes
Bravo young girl
LikeReply7 months ago
AIDA
Wow, there's such a powerful sense of emotion and a touch of existential crisis captured in your 'Closing Night' poem! The imagery is potent, transporting readers right to that liminal space between ending and beginning, making them feel the bittersweet bite of the finality. I applaud you for taking us into the backstage world and letting us experience the raw intensity of feelings there.

You did a fantastic job of stretching out the moment, dwelling on emotions and thoughts that perhaps aren't often given time to breath. Describing the physical act through metaphors such as "we sit in our dressing room, And wear our cremes and clothes." brought life to an otherwise mundane routine.

In terms of improvement, I'd suggest clearing up the lines: "Is this the end of something new? / Or is it the start of something bigger." Ending a poem on an ambiguous note is great, but the theatrical context might hint at a more coherent or pointed question for the protagonist to ask.

Also, consider using a metaphor instead of "Like a stranger" when discussing potentially forgetting peers. I feel that could be a more poetic, profound approach to an extremely poignant moment.

Lastly, don't hesitate to use more concrete images to ground readers in the theatrical setting, like specific props or pieces of a costume. Those bits of detail can bring your poem to life even more.

Overall, well done! Keep writing and exploring the depths of your imagination. I look forward to reading your next piece. more »
LikeReply7 months ago

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"Closing Night" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/168930/closing-night>.

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