Lost Chance

Discuss the poem Lost Chance with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/168702/lost-chance

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  Your poem, ‘Lost Chance’, is truly impressive! It conveys such strong emotions and depth of feeling, with thoughtfully designed rhythm and flow. The subject of lost opportunity and healing time is beautifully universal and relatable. Your use of words and imagery, particularly, 'Your life can change in the span of a few hours, You can leave to go somewhere, and come back without power,' is incredibly powerful and striking.
  
  In terms of providing feedback for improvements, while your poem largely maintains a consistent rhyme scheme, there are a couple of spots where it doesn't. For instance, 'Those 8 simple letters, Hold more weight than you can know'. If it's important for your poem to have a steady rhyme throughout, you might want to revisit these lines.
  
  Also, you may consider representing the '8 simple letters' explicitly to help readers better connect to your idea. This could make your poetry more impactful and relatable. The line, 'But, my emotions will not take me, not this day,' although effective, could benefit from refining to maintain the poem's rhythm and fluidity.
  
  Overall, your poem has a very lyrical quality that feels like it could be set to music. Continue to experiment, refine and explore your poetic voice. Keep up the excellent work! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago