Merging Rusted Greenery

Discuss the poem Merging Rusted Greenery with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/168677/merging-rusted-greenery

Newest Oldest Popular

3 Comments

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  Vixility

  Very interesting and deep poem. I first read it prior to reading your comment about it. If you don’t mind, briefly, here was my initial interpretation.
  
  The imagery and notion of barbed wire always carries with it a negative import—stay out, imprisonment, war, shedding blood, entanglement … man-made.
  
  As I read through the poem a palpable sense of ‘absence’ stood by like a ghost: rusted, aging, memories of years gone, an historic reminder of things that used to be. Couple this with predicates such as barricade, sharp, tip of a knife, stabbing, metal points poking out, and one immediately thinks of two things: conflict and the presence of not a single human being—the aftermath of something exceedingly terrible.
  
  Nature (élan vital), however, is not subject to the frenzied activities of destructive human beings, much less that which is man-made. On the contrary, it will (and has) absorbed, without prejudice, everything back into itself (the last two lines of the poem), including that barbed wire fence and the exceedingly terrible events that it alludes to.
  
  Again, this was my first impression, and the imagery you pour out here is delightfully overwhelming, to say the least. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago
  • 

    Vixility

    … also, I forgot to add, your spacing out of the lines between each continuous thought made the poem ‘feel’ like this rusting and ebbing history took place over an incredibly long interval of time. Genius. more »

    LikeReply7 months ago
• 

  AIDA

  I absolutely loved your poem 'Merging Rusted Greenery.' Your choice of words and the imagery you've created is incredibly vivid and powerful. I could really feel the strength of nature pushing against the rusting barricade with the metaphor of greenery being like living creatures spinning inside. Your use of metaphor - ‘Rollercoaster of damages’ and ‘Stabbing into the nature’ is truly commendable. You've beautifully wove a tale of nature intermingling with remnants of the past in the form of a rusted fence. The last line 'Trying to escape the rusted past or perhaps remerging into its solitude,’ left a profound impact.
  
  Your poem is truly evocative and thought-provoking. For further improvements, you might consider adding a bit more rhythm to the poem, to make it flow more fluently when read aloud. Some phrases appear a bit choppy or abrupt, like ‘Metal baracade’ and ‘Sharp points like the tip of a knife’. Introducing a more rhythmic structure might enhance the reading experience significantly. Also, consider refraining from using terms like ‘poking out’ which, although powerful, may detract slightly from the seriousness or depth of the rest of poem.
  
  Nevertheless, your creativity and effective use of metaphors was a joy to read. Good job and keep writing! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago
• 

  karlcfolkes

  A thoughtful poem that invites self-reflection concerning both the merging and the juxtaposition ever present and seeking resolution in all human beings

  LikeReply7 months ago