The romance we carry

Was that the weight of my Grief?
The pennies and talks that I missed?
The liquor to come and to leave -
The moments that lacked to exist?

Was it heavy as absence can be?
Would it heft a friend, failing me?
Were autumn eves, their ghostly breeze,
The very weight of my Grief?

Maybe hefting them each, one by one -
Till they made up friendship itself.
The weight of what that would mean -
Was that the weight of my
Grief?

It is our ancient companion.
It saw the break of each bone.
That grew the romance we carried.
It heard every hit to our soul.

That romance I carried would be
Just the weight of my Grief!
It carried my friends, it carried their leave -
It carried my hopes, it got them to ceise.

I wanted to burn down the bridges
That threatened to carry them back!
Or maybe I wished I could cry them
A river between us instead.

Because I have probed it and found,
This weight is just the amount -
Of the Grief I can carry.
No more could we add to that count.