By letting My death spill

"Did you want to die or
Did you want the thoughts to stop?"

A question repeated like a broken record nobody will fix

"Did you not think of them
When you felt it go down your throat
Or burn your stomach,
While silver turned to rust?"

The answer lays smooth on my tounge
Like poison ivy, in
The reflection of Ruby rivers.
But the truth still sits in my throat
It's my Achilles heel only I can touch.
But if Ruby turns to rust
The bumps on my skin will turn bold silver.
A fate worse than dying.

I lost the privilege of living
By letting My death spill.
I grasped the devil's hand
Hoping it'll wake me up.
You tied me down to the nightmare.
Sewed me up with medication and walls.

Truth that burns my throat like Orange juice.
My kiss with death
Isn't as simple as silence
Or being silenced.

I want to hold onto the double edge swords.
I want to be lost in my own words.
I want to forfeit to my thoughts.
Go off the radar of sanity.
I don't want the Rightful burn Of white above To scar my bruised wounds
Or the presence of the Ruby fire to heal the void.

Does that scare you?
Does my sharp bones make u flinch?
Was it all just to make me fear the future I destroyed?
To make spiders and heights
Oh so small?

I told you the truth.
No lies lay on my words no longer.
You took away my Presence, my soul.
I can't be clean.
I can't be human.
I can not be alone.

You tried so hard
To stop me From disappearing
Into deaths arms just to
Make me into the grimreaper  itself.
A walking supernova. Ruby red.
Speak to death. Speak to me.