By letting My death spill

"Did you want to die or Did you want the thoughts to stop?" A question repeated like a broken record, nobody will fix "Did you not think of them When you felt it go down your throat Or burn your stomach, While silver turned to rust?" The answer lays smooth on my tongue Like poison ivy, in The reflection of Ruby rivers. But the truth still sits in my throat It's my Achilles heel, only I can touch. But if Ruby turns to rust The bumps on my skin will turn bold silver. A fate worse than dying. I lost the privilege of living By letting My death spill. I grasped the devil's hand Hoping it'll wake me up. You tied me down to the nightmare. Sewed me up with medication and walls. Truth that burns my throat like Orange juice. My kiss with death Isn't as simple as silence Or being silenced. I want to hold onto the double edge swords. I want to be lost in my own words. I want to forfeit to my thoughts. Go off the radar of sanity. I don't want the Rightful burn Of white above To scar my bruised wounds Or the presence of the Ruby fire to heal the void. Does that scare you? Does my sharp bones make u flinch? Was it all just to make me fear the future I destroyed? To make spiders and heights Oh, so small? I told you the truth. No lies lay on my words, no longer. You took away my Presence, my soul. I can't be clean. I can't be human. I can not be alone. You tried so hard To stop me From disappearing Into death's arms just to Make me into the grim reaper itself. A walking supernova. Ruby red. Speak to death. Speak to me.