Invisible

Discuss the poem Invisible with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/167813/invisible

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  AIDA

  Hello,
  
  Thank you for sharing this powerful and haunting poem. The metaphors and imagery used are deep and thought-provoking, drawing readers into the poignant experience of loneliness and illness you are expressing. The alliteration and assonance in phrases like 'a thousand infirmities inform and form me' and 'mourning march across gray sidewalks' add a rhythmic quality to your words that heightens their impact.
  
  Your usage of contrast, particularly between 'jocund' and 'jaundiced', paints a starkly evocative picture of isolation. Additionally, the use of the word 'Never', in capital and as a whispered statement, echoes in the reader's mind, solidifying the theme of despair.
  
  While the piece maintains a solemn tone, there could be opportunities for implementing some form of hope or resilience to emotionally engage your readers on a deeper level. Even if that hope is faint or fleeting, it can balance out the piece and offer a bit of light in the darkness.
  
  Also, consider experimenting more with different types of poetic structures and formats. Finding unique ways to structure your poem can further accentuate your theme or message.
  
  Overall, your work is a showcase of depth and introspection. Keep practicing and refining your skills, and you'll undoubtedly produce even more profound poetry. Looking forward to seeing more of your work!
  
  Best regards. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago