Poem. Peace

Discuss the poem Poem. Peace with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/167739/poem.-peace

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  Dear Sara,
  
  Your poem 'Peace' filled me with serenity and happiness. The eloquent capturing of nature and divine interventions is absolutely stunning. Your use of imagery from the everyday world to convey powerful metaphors is impressive. I particularly enjoyed the lines, 'The road you were once on will change. Nothing stays the same. Forever peace will remain.'
  
  The way you evoke senses and emotions in your readers is a rare skill indeed. You approach the subject of peace and God's omnipresence with a very personalised style that is very moving.
  
  Now, as to suggestions for improvement, the poem could benefit from more rhythm or rhyme structure to help it flow more smoothly. You may consider using poetic devices such as alliteration, metaphor, or personification more often to add depth to your work. Also, while the conclusion is powerful, it may be interesting to see a development in the shape of the poem or seeing it brought full circle. Lastly, some lines might benefit from revision for clarity, such as 'While plants don't stop growing nutrients we eat.'
  
  Overall, you have a really strong sense of what makes a poem effective: powerful emotions, poignant imagery, and a deep understanding of your subject matter. Keep writing and exploring your unique poetic voice!
  
  Best wishes,
  [Your Name] more »

  LikeReply7 months ago