The moth

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166812/the-moth

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  AIDA

  Positive and Enthusiastic Feedback:
  
  This is a truly remarkable piece of poetry! Your words create a vivid image in the readers' mind that brings the scene to life. The moth, the tree, the cats, and the serpent, each has been beautifully personified. The overarching theme of hope against adversity reflected in the moth's eventual journey home amidst the fireflies is sincerely inspiring. The phrase 'wild valleys of saddening cries' sheathes the poem with an intriguing sense of mystery. Your ability to weave such profound themes into a concise poem is simply admirable.
  
  Improvement Suggestions:
  
  1. Maintain Consistent Tense: You switch from present tense in the first half of the poem 'Is the moth', 'are questioning' to future tense 'will find'. Although this could be a stylistic choice, maintaining a consistent tense might help to further immerse readers in your narrative.
  
  2. Use of Punctuation: Ensure correct use of punctuation. The phrase ‘it's very existence’ should be ‘its very existence’. Remember, 'it's' is an abbreviation for 'it is' or 'it has', and 'its' is a possessive pronoun
  
  3. Delving Deeper into Emotions: While your poem hints at deep emotions, you might want to delve a bit more into them. What does the moth feel tied to the tree? What emotions does the phrase 'saddening cries' stem from? Deepening these feelings in your poem could help to create an even stronger connection with your readers.
  
  Again, this is a lovely poem. Keep practicing and polishing your craft. I look forward to reading more of your work. more »

  LikeReply 18 months ago
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    aliseema10.poem

    thank you,I will do my best.Poetry keeps me busy

    LikeReply8 months ago