Dad

I'm with you even when we're not together; I'm in your blood to the bone.
I’m the daughter who was once there
A million times I needed you.
There, we were discussing things that I wasn't
With a cigarette in your hand, you asked me why I was the way I am.
The problem is that I carried your pain.
You tried to change who I was, which completely destroyed me.
Words so loud they pierced my soul.
You've never seen who I am, and you've never held my hand.
As you exhale smoke from your lungs, burnt tobacco falls to the ground.
Sighing in the midst of the many flowers at my feet
My once-lit fire was burning right in front of me.
Breathing it in always managed to choke me with my words.
You asked me what was wrong?
For years, I patiently waited in my own space.
And even though I am alone, I can hear echoes of the past through the empty corridors as I grew accustomed to being numb in your absence.
Despite this, my heart has never given up.
Looking for a father I never had
I found my home in other people.
A love that was never found.
And there are times when I try to piece together every broken piece.
To make sense of a reality i could never fully understand.
I was only a child and had no idea.
Your new wife was not fond of me.
I was already dealing with so much else that I began to believe it was all my fault.
She slammed the door shut and threw away the key, sobbing on the kitchen floor. It was clear that I couldn't be near you for even a second.
Guilty for something I didn't do, I needed my father and I wanted to be with you, but the issue of her kept us apart.
A soul-misled past
The untold lies and love letters
Ripped at the edges, but you tore through each one, scribbling what you thought might be good with tainted ink.
But if you hadn't threatened to leave, you could have written a masterpiece.
When I needed you, you were just a vision.
And I was reminded to love you from afar.
Regardless of how difficult it may be
There will always be tomorrow.
I hope you call me one day because the silence breaks my heart.