The Bowl of Ice Cream

Laurel M. Lee 1970 (Anchorage, AK)

June 23 


T’was an evil tempter proffering
This thing I should avoid.
Yet, again I took this offering
Excuses then, employed.

You see, my meal left lingering
Its alliaceous taste.
I couldn’t sit malingering
And acted thus in haste.

It conquered me, this hankering
For creamy sweet delight.
To this defense I’m anchoring,
Thus absolved, I took a bite.

About this poem

During COVID, I got into a bad habit of eating ice cream in the evenings. It was always harder to avoid if we'd had something with garlic or onions for dinner. That was a hard habit to break!

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Written on June 12, 2023

Submitted by Laurelmlee on June 19, 2023

19 sec read
80

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABAB ACAC ADAD
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 348
Words 65
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4

Laurel M. Lee

When I was little, my grandfather had me believing I'd be a famous poet someday. Of course, life never turns out the way you plan, does it? Still, I do have a litle fun with it from time to time. This first contest submission of mine today is the first one I've written in several years, and I only wrote it because a friend's gift inspired me. I could never stick to the rules of the various poetry styles, but have always enjoyed the ones that rhyme. I've long been a fan of Edgar Allan Poe's "Annabel Lee" and John Masefield's "Sea Fever". Having been born in Alaska, I also love Robert Service's "Cremation of Sam McGee". I have a two teenagers and my husband and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary this year. more…

All Laurel M. Lee poems | Laurel M. Lee Books

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2 Comments
  • Jewoo525
    Didn't think it could be done, using "aliaceous" in a poem. Your poem was just like a bowl of ice cream on a hot summer day, a nice break from the longer and more dramatic pieces submitted this month. I think your structure is deceptively simple, yet in its guise holds a really effective mini-three-act structure with rising action, conflict, and resolution all in one. I think it shows not just your talent in being able to write a fun poem that everyone can relate to these days (Gods, the heat!), but also exemplifies your technical skill. The discipline with the rhyme scheme, the bold choice of words, and making it all work in a poem about ice cream was very impressive.

    I sincerely hope you keep competing, I would love to see more of your work in the future. There's still plenty of time to fulfill your grandfather's prophecy. Keep writing!
     
    LikeReply 110 months ago
    • Laurelmlee
      Wow! Thanks for all this praise! I liked it too, but was like of bummed about getting only one vote. I’m so thrilled you liked it! Thanks for this!!
      LikeReply 110 months ago
  • Vixility
    Really really enjoyed reading this poem. Loved the humor and the language that you used! If you haven't already, you should read "Double Whopper" (another poem in this contest). Obviously about food, it's also pretty humorous. 
    LikeReply10 months ago
    • Laurelmlee
      Thank you so much! I will absolutely go back and read that one. I only got through 96 of them this time. My mom passed yesterday evening and I’d been spending a lot of time with her. I just ran out of time. Can’t wait to read it! And thanks again! 
      LikeReply10 months ago

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"The Bowl of Ice Cream" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/163936/the-bowl-of-ice-cream>.

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