Dirt

I never quite fit in, felt like, there’s nowhere I belong
This feeling made me, soft hearted probably to headstrong.

No comfort in my body, it hurts and fails me,
No comfort from my loved ones, everybody’s bailed me.

I am all alone, undisputedly alone,  
I do have my kids who live with me in this home

But do I really live here? Or do I live inside my head?
It's a constant struggle, daily, wishing I was dead

I moved across the country, twice in just a year,
Dragged my children with me, nobody to lean on, so it would appear.

I asked my Boy's Dad to take them, for just a while,  
After my new husband died and I forgot how to smile.

He said this is Karma for treating him so bad,
That’s my children’s father, they’re embarrassed to call him Dad.

So I took them on a grieving journey of a woman half insane,
The other half has tumors growing on my brain.

Sometimes I think; Should my Kin take some extra care?
To see if we’re ok, but nope, they wouldn’t dare.

I’ve made no secrets of what I think is right,
For that I’ve lost friends and family, literally overnight.

Most of the time I’ve learned to sooth myself, but this one really hurt,
I just want to have one solid person, to put my roots inside their Dirt.
Lisa Meehan ©️2023