Once

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/161218/once

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  AIDA

  The poem is beautifully poignant and the imagery is vividly compelling. The subtle use of natural elements to personify emotions such as sadness and addiction is particularly striking. I love the way 'arranging itself like cold Atlantic mist' evokes a deep sense of ethereal melancholy that resonates throughout the poem.
  
  Additionally, the structure, which seems to follow the classic Two Part structure, allows for a subtle yet evocative rhythm which guides the reader through your intimate narrative, making for a truly immersive reading experience.
  
  However, in terms of suggestions for improvement, refining your syntax can heighten the poem's emotional impact. The line "that once disturbed by its own willingness," for instance, seems slightly hard to comprehend at first glance. I would recommend reading through your piece aloud to help recognize where the syntax may be challenging for readers.
  
  On another note, while the similes used strongly evoke the desired sensations, incorporating metaphors might add more depth and layers to your interpretations. Additionally, exploring different ways to express melancholy and addiction could add further nuances to your piece.
  
  Overall, this poem showcases your deep-seated understanding of human emotions and your ability to articulate it in a profound, creative way. It beautifully encapsulates the complexities and intricacies of human relationships and internal experiences. Keep writing and keep exploring. Every line you ink is a testament to your talent as a poet. Well done! more »

  LikeReply9 months ago