I am not immune

Suffering is upon me
The corridors of time stretch vast
I resonate with an ancestral echo
A quicksilver strain
Poisonous, un-transmuted, sickly sounding
A gorgon's song of shadow and grief
Unresolved, Ancient, and New all at once

A heavy awareness is with me
It knocked upon my door
With Hubris, I opened
And found this unexpected visitor
To whom I bid farewell, and who will not go
Am I undone?

I have believed
“I am inviolate!”
That neither circumstance nor mood could make
this heart heavy, frightened, and hot
But it now beats in my breast, afflicted
And the light seems very far away
I am not immune  

The body ages, the mind distorts
Misfortune befalls, confusion infects
I cast out for joy, for anchor, for comfort
and find none

I look to my elders and find no answers
I turn to my child and cannot ask
I am mute
I am deaf
I am blind
I am weak
I am not immune

Like an infant crying in the night
I find no succor
I cry: “Mother!  Mother, where are you?!”
When will I be lifted and held to the bosom of mother-comfort?
No answer comes

This body pains me – I don’t want it
My hunger is insatiable – release me
I am confined – liberate me
I cannot believe my own lies – the agony!
I am alone I am alone I am alone