Rate:5.0 / 4 votes

Dawn Racer

Je Woo Han 2000 (Seoul)

May 23 
Rain pools on the pavement- portals
to a different world. The median
shifts, replaced by a smeared echo
of the traffic lights. Blurred images
blinking red and orange, distorted,
shrinking under the high beam’s scrutiny.     

Each whisper secrets, eking out
pleas for attention. Promising
possibilities of a world where I’m driving
towards the other way, before
being trampled; scattered fragments
under jaded tires.   

A cerulean sky reflects my mood,
cringing stars avert my gaze
behind darkened veils. Doubt stains
my windshield; the car hisses, its
empty ducts refusing to
shed cleansing tears for troubles heard
too many times now. Instead, simply
wagging its disapproving digits in my face.  

Gears shift, frustrations rise,
scenery twists. Colors of the evening
blend and an ugly collage emerges,
streaking by as if embarrassed at
the chance meeting.

Like a child’s canvas when they
greedily use all the crayons at once,
excitedly mixing layers upon layers.
But it’s in separation
that makes a rainbow beautiful.

Tonight, I race against sleep. For
no dreams await me in bed.
Tonight, I race against the Dawn,
in a contest of ego to see who makes
the Moon fall for them first.
Tonight, I feed my jealousy with speed.

About this poem

Driving home alone, my car kept me company.

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Written on May 28, 2023

Submitted by Jewoo525 on May 27, 2023

1:10 min read
87

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAXXXB XCCDXE XXXXXXBX XCXXC XXEAX DXXXXX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,259
Words 235
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 6, 6, 8, 5, 5, 6
Full analysis for Dawn Racer »

Je Woo Han

Korean college student, amateur poet. more…

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3 Comments
  • TortillasAreNotBiceps
    TortillasAreNotBiceps
    Masterfully written poetry, Je. Wow!
    LikeReply9 months ago
  • jeremyt.40101
    jeremyt.40101
    Masterful, my friend. I the can feel myself exhilarated and manic, at one with the speaker. The images are at once crisp and vibrant while at the same time they blur past as if outside a moving window. The poem changes directions and takes the reader by surprise. Nothing is trite; all is fresh. It keeps the reader on the cusp, in a ride along. The end is not a brake. It keeps going, rushing past, and gives the reader the special ache of recognizing the inexpressible. Kudos to you. 
    LikeReply 110 months ago
    • Jewoo525
      Jewoo525
      oh man, thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to me, I truly appreciate it.
      LikeReply10 months ago
  • scott.alan116
    scott.alan116
    The imagery is consistent and largely unsentimental; the writer is chasing a reality he cannot totally dissociate himself from but neither can he embrace it specifically. He’s working against time; everything is either blurred or distorted – he doubts himself and grieves the lack of clarity and intimacy that should position him to achieve whatever it is he’s after. The last line does rankle – it isn’t shocking in that we weren’t prepped for such an ending, it just seems… unconnected, unsubstantiated – a bit of a cop-out - but other than that I consider it to be a well-crafted poem and well worth reading. 
    LikeReply10 months ago
    • Jewoo525
      Jewoo525
      Thank you so much for your vote and excellent feedback! It means so much to me. I 100% agree with you that I can work on the ending even further, it was the part that I was unsure about for the longest time and had multiple edits on. Perhaps this isn't the final form for this piece. Looking forward to seeing more of your work as well. 
      LikeReply10 months ago

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"Dawn Racer" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/160963/dawn-racer>.

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