Leaving You

We all do our best with most that we do, hoping that the ones we love will do the same things too.
So why is it that the ones who give more seem to be the ones left without much to show for?
Love isn't easy and it never will be, but loving and not being loved back is the worst for me.
Choosing to stay or choosing to go is a hard choice as well because we all hold on to hope.
Hope that one day the love that we give will be returned by the ones that we hold near.
So we stay and we wait and we wait a little more until our failures lead nowhere but the door.
We decide to leave and enough is enough, and suddenly that person expresses so much love.
They say they are sorry and will do anything and they suddenly listen to you and how you're feeling.
The promises start flying and the emotions come back, and suddenly you blame yourself for what they lack.
Everyone thinks that because you left, the rest of your problems no longer have depth.
As if your world and all of your shit suddenly stops because you walked away from him.
The truth is that nothing slowed down, and the problems you had are still very much around.
But you've got to figure out if you are to blame for the relationship issues, and the failure to maintain.
You ask yourself what you could have done better or question your decision to leave altogether.
Meanwhile, the one you loved does not change their ways and still makes you out to blame.
But you love them so much and it's almost pity you feel, and walking away from your husband, it's hard to deal.
Do you choose comfort or yourself, or do you even have anything left to offer someone else?
The anger you hid just festers and swells, and hiding your resentment is hard as hell.
So you lash out and yell and unleash what you hid for so long, and he doesn't understand where it's coming from.
But why would he understand when you left him calmly and gave him the chance to recover fully?
The bigger the heart the more things will bring pain, and walking away makes you out to blame.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't, empty inside whether I will or won't.
Although I have no idea how to recover or find my truth, the hardest part of loving, will always be leaving you.