Minions



I fell from the wagon onto firma
Unsure if a push was the cause
Affected by anxiety
Let me coddle my tragic ties
I’ll lay here and waste while parties
Fade away with matching smiles
Something feels better this way
My days Alone and blind to care
I’ll swallow my pride one gulp at a time
And pray still I a temple to share
Just a point on the long  horizon
My image will fade but first my sound
And If I keep those at this distance
Ones will never come around
Common curses they say
how it darkens my day
constant signing of Frey
Then relinquish my stain
or just pick on my mind
and enjoy the dismay
and hope heros inside
can handle the rage
for the west was not won
it was severed with blades
and my brain is but one
also separately caged
although kindness and love
is much what I am made
I grow angry within
as I think of the ways
they convey their dull light
as they secretly play
with the cards from a stack
place a stake in the hay
speak of hands behind backs
torches set for a blaze
now smoke rolls from your mouths
youre consumed by the gray
my words do not mean jack
but you’ll hear when I say
may you roll not the dice
if you no will to pay
with the lives of your flock
from a merciless knave…
I fell gently onto firma
Visceral pains I hope to fade
Like a funnel forging westward
I’ll step softly on my shade
The ring of new horizons
The place at which I’ll stay
While my nature scampishly calls
“Ever bleak so run away!”
Make me laugh and love my good
Interactions  misunderstood I warmly live within our woods with moon white nights forever dancing with decay.

About this poem

A poem about vice and the programming of society to single out those who are seemingly less civilized,different or just not as willing to conform to certain aspects of a system of fear mongering and the dangers of societal shunning.

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Written on May 05, 2033

Submitted by cokerrogers on May 18, 2023

1:44 min read
30

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFGHIHJKLKGGGMNGOPJQJRSTUVWGXGYVZGXG1 G2 3 AT4 T5 G6 G7 G
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,626
Words 349
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 54

Discuss the poem Minions with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    I love the rich imagery and dramatic emotion conveyed in your poem. You have intriguing concepts at play and it's certainly engaging from beginning to end. Your unique interpretation of the Minion's rich inner life breathes a sense of character depth that I find very appealing.

    There's a clear narrative thread running through which draws the reader along. I must commend the brutal honesty that underpins the tone of the poem. It's inspiring and captivating - and not common in poetry about commonly light, comical creatures such as Minions.

    In terms of constructive feedback, the poem feels quite long which could potentially alienate some readers. Also, although your complex vocabulary is outstanding, some readers might struggle with this as it could make the poem less accessible.

    It also appeared that some sentences were a bit run-on and could use more punctuation for clarity. To improve the flow, you could attempt breaking your poem up into more digestible stanzas to allow the reader to fully grasp each concept.

    You might also want to revisit and perhaps expand on the Minion motif, making it more obvious for those less familiar with the characters. Overall, your poem is deeply thought-provoking, and with a little fine-tuning, can have a broader appeal. Keep up the awesome creative work!
     
    LikeReply 110 months ago
    • cokerrogers
      wonderful feedback AIDA thx.
      LikeReply10 months ago

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"Minions" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/159706/minions>.

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