Twinkle twinkle little miracle

Trigger warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️ misscariages mentioned


Twinkle twinkle my little miracle

You'd have been six or maybe even seven
Is that so terrible or simply ignorance is Bliss
These aren't dates I tend to try and recall not because of you,
No not at all just the loss was so god damn awful, I often think of you as you were my little miracle,
A precious parcel sent down by a whomever is the Pinnacle,
Whoever is the Giver but also remember the take of life,
I just wish he'd opted to not bestow upon me such an agony filled life,
I was told very young a family was unlikely to be,
I knew there was a possibility that I may always only be an auntie,
Apparently I screamed when they told me the news that day
That memory doesn't resonate in my mind,
What does is everything going numb,
You find yourself just staring away,
But in a few days that went away,
However what's left is this hole that's been nored away bit by bit out of your heart,
It's as if someone's shaking you awake without the faculties you need to stop yourself from falling apart,
Nothing ever fills that hole you know believe me I've tried,  
There's always a yearning maybe a gap will always reside,
Now you were clinically medically just a tiny little twinkle,
So people will no doubt ridicule and call me delusional,
Or crazy, ridiculous I could literally list every label,
But I don't care because my heart has never again been a full muscle,
Maybe it's so your light can twinkle through and serve as a memory,
That for a split second in time you made me the happiest mommy there could be,
Although you never made it here to meet me
Because you were my shooting twinkling star a one in a million my little miracle,
I think I'd prefer to remember you like this on your anniversary,
Than to keep recalling the horror, the pain of the days tragedy,
Who knows maybe in time it will serve as a remedy and maybe not just for me,

Regardless of what week or what stage you have a miscarriage it is still the loss of your twinkling miracle,
Who gave you the happiness of being a mummy or Daddy, even if only briefly, it was real for you, Just like it was real for me too.
Copyright © Sarah Cope | Year Posted 2023