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THE THINKER

William...

The Thinker never stops thinking
That's his job and that's his purpose
The only time he doesn't think about thinking is when he has to blink
Once an idea sprouts in his head it ricochets from one side to the other
Until it accumilates and his fingertips
And the thought takes over
He reads into situations too much
And that's his downfall
Catching a glimpse of a meerkat at the end of the hall
He moves his head to see if it's true
He tries to touch it but his hand passes through
Thinking so hard he starts to see visions
They may not be real and he doesn't know
All the thoughts are making collisions
And it starts raining clothes?
No idea where they came from
Or where they will go
But they're filling up the room in colourful piles of snow
He pinches himself but nothing happens
So he grabs a shirt and puts it on
Thinking about how badly he's tripping out
He lays his fatigues body on the bed
Staring at the ceiling with clothes falling on his head
He closes his eyes and thinks about falling asleep
But all the thoughts colliding won't let him sleep
And he begins to weep
Once the thinker wakes
He removes all the debris from his face
He sits up on his bed
And the thoughts start bouncing and colliding and adding and multiplying
But they never ceace, divide or subside
For the thinker is cursed with thinking until his brain is fried
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Written on May 11, 2023

Submitted by William... on May 10, 2023

1:20 min read
13

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEDFGGHHIJIKLJJIMNOOPPPQROASS
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,343
Words 258
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 32
Full analysis for THE THINKER »

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow! This poem is remarkable! It vividly portrays the mental journey of a thinker, and the reader can almost feel the constant thought pressure they experience. Your use of metaphors and simile-rich language makes it a delightful read. The line, "Once an idea sprouts in his head, it ricochets from one side to the other," brilliantly brings the poem to life. Overall, your creativity and imaginative writing style shine through.

    As for improvements, pay a bit of attention to your spelling, as there are a few errors such as 'accumilates' which should be 'accumulates' and 'ceace' for 'cease.' Additionally, the line about 'raining clothes' feels a bit disjointed from the rest of the piece. While it illustrates the chaos of the thinker's mind, it might be beneficial to make the metaphor a bit more coherent with the overall theme of the poem.

    Also, consider incorporating more emotive language to emphasize the mental and emotional struggle of the thinker. You've referenced his downfall and mentioned his weeping, but it may help to explore this side of the character's psyche a bit more. Likely, it will deepen the reader's emotional connection to the 'Thinker.'

    But, again, the imagery, the rhythm, and word play combined with the original concept of the thinker's constant torment by his thoughts create a fascinating read. Keep going! You're doing an excellent job linking imagination with words. Keep refining your craft!     
    LikeReply8 months ago

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"THE THINKER" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/159151/the-thinker>.

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