Societal Ignorance

    


  I created history, first in my lineage. But, it wasn't intentional, never what I am proud of but, here it’s attached to me and my memory probably forever.
I am a pariah to all who know me, the scorn of the family and community. Man, no man wants to be seen openly with, yet, all are expressing their sympathy, and understanding behind closed doors.
A victim of airport ignorance most shunning me now are displaying openly ignorantly:
 “take care of this bag for me, let me ease myself I will be back in two minutes” the airport operator’s line.
But those supposed to be family, friends, and community, it’s: “To your tent oh! Philip” the line I had been receiving since my freedom.
The tag ex-convict is chicken pox, covid-19 virus distancing is a must to remain among the living.
The fear I felt on seeing the handcuff on my arms and being led away, equals the anger am passing through among those eager to attach me to the content of the bag.
The relief I felt on leaving the prison gate after twelve years has turned into contempt of the society that is hell-bent on keeping me caged.
Their scorn, their smirking, their skepticism, their backbiting. I felt abandoned to carry my cross alone. Social, economical, and psychological load of rejoining the society that is eager to send me back from where I escaped. I felt like being under attack by the society without any physical weapon yet, their eyes, their mouth is more brutal than nuclear weapons.
Do they need re-education, the forced labor, and the orientation one gets in prison to condition their heads? Are they the ones that needed all of the re-configuration prison gives?
Their actions can't be termed precautions for there is nothing to be on the guard for about me even before my incarceration. So, why is this their subtly ostracizing? How do I supposed to integrate, cope, secure trust in them and myself, secure a job, and put food on the table?
   Do I trade this freedom for one in prison?- maybe, I don’t see the difference. I am way, way inside a ditch living among these people. I am viewed as a source of shackles of terror, worry, anxiety, and stress by existing among them. But I refused to cower, refused to be scorned into surrender.