lump in my throat

My mind sometimes hurts when I think back
I closed a bunch of doors and windows and held my breath
I could never find the stop sign or exit ramp
only a sudden drop

My nerves may fail me again.
My silence is better than saying you are forgiven
I forgave you once without regard for myself

I was stolen by people who hate me
I found people who love me
I am anchored but still lost, in the sea of understanding
Can I take a ramp out
never look back
and dump the chest of hurt into the abyss for good.